Douglas Della Toffalo, Sports Psychology Guidelines for Sports Parents<br><br><p>Peak Performance Sports</p><p>Youth sports are huge in today's
society. Coaches and parents have a tremendous impact on how children
will engage in sports. I get several emails a month from concerned
sports parents asking me how they should help their child superstar win
at and enjoy sports. When working with young athletes, I often work
with the parents themselves so parents can reinforce the concepts I
teach to athletes in our mental game coaching sessions. Below are eight
simple guidelines for sports parents to adopt with youth athletes.</p><p>8 Simple Guidelines for Sports Parents:</p><p>1.
Sports should be fun for kids. Treat sport as a game—It's not a
business for kids. With all the money in professional sports today, it
is hard for parents to understand that it's just good fun to young
athletes. The primary goal should be to have fun and enjoy the healthy
competition.</p><p>2. Your own agenda is not your child's. Young
athletes compete in sports for many reasons. They enjoy the
competition, like the social aspect, engage with being part of a team,
and enjoy the challenge of setting goals. You might have a different
agenda than your child and you need to recognize that racing is your
child's sport, not yours.</p><p>3. Emphasize a mental focus on the
process of execution instead of results or trophies. We live in a
society that focuses on results and winning, but winning come from
working the process and enjoying the ride. Teach your child to focus on
the process of the challenge of playing one shot, stroke, or race at a
time instead of the number of wins or trophies.</p><p>4. You are a role
model for your child athlete. As such, you should model composure and
poise on the sidelines. When you are at competition, your child mimics
your behavior as well as other role models. You become a role model in
how you react to a close race or the questionable behavior of a
competitor. Stay calm, composed, and in control during games so your
child superstar can mimic those positive behaviors.</p><p>5. Refrain
from game-time coaching. During competition, it's time to just let them
play. All the practice should be set aside because this is the time
that athletes need trust in the training and react on the court or
field. "Just do it" as the saying goes. Too much coaching (or
over-coaching) can lead to mistakes and cautious performance (called
paralysis by over analysis in my work). Save the coaching for practice
and use encouragement at game time instead.</p><p>6. Help you athlete
to detach self-esteem from achievement. Too many athletes I work with
attach self-worth to the level of performance or outcomes. Help your
child understand that they are a person FIRST who happens to be an
athlete instead of an athlete who happens to be a person. Success or
number of wins should not determine a person's self-esteem.</p><p>7.
Ask your child athlete the right questions. Asking the right questions
after competition and games will tell your child what you think is
important in sports. If you ask, "Did you win?" your child will think
winning is important. If you ask, "Did you have fun?" he or she will
assume having fun is important.</p><p>8. Pledge the: P.A.Y.S. Parent's
Code of Ethics. PAYS (Parents Association for Youth Sports) provides a
parental handbook and code of ethics that adults must sign before each
competitive season. This is a great tool to guide parents in their
interaction with young athletes.</p><br>