Something to laugh at

Nigel Holmes 03 9626 1914 fax 03 9626 1917 HOLMES.NIGEL at A2.ABC.NET.AU
Thu Mar 2 02:42:22 EST 2000

After the recent heavy exchanges some humour might be in order...

73  Nigel VK3ZNQ

Fleamarket Talk    ...  ENGLISH translation ...

1.  This rig puts out a big signal = It's 50khz wide !

2.  This is a really good CW rig = It doesn't work on SSB !

3.  It seems to be a vintage regenerative type = It oscillates!

4.  I just re-tubed it = Got 'em from a questionable USED tube stock!

5.  I just aligned it = The slugs on the transformers are jammed!

6.  I don't know if it works = It doesn't work and probably never has!

7.  It doesn't CHIRP = Probably cause it doesn't transmit!

8.  The audio sounds great = The 120Hz buzz is faithfully reproduced!

9.  It just was serviced = I sprayed WD-40 all over the wiring!

10.  It comes with the original box = Just scoop the kitty litter out!

11.  Better buy it 'cause it won't last = No translation needed!

12.  Sure, it works at full power = It sucks all it can from the wall!

13.  Frequency stability is great = VFO doesn't work, you'll have to use

14.  This rig has wide band coverage = It drifts up and down and out of

15.  This rig was popular in its day = They had many HF nets on repairing

16.  QST gave this rig a great review = The language broke new ground for

17.  It might need abit of tweaking = Marconi himself couldn't fix it!

18.  It was used in government service = Stored outside on wooden pallets!

19.  The dial drive may need lubricating = The gears are stripped and set
screws locked!

20.  I plugged the rig in to see if it lights up = The light came from the 2
ft flames!

21.  Im selling it 'cause I have 2 of them = I'm selling the parts radio!

22.  It came from an estate sale = Any problems, take it up with the owner!

23.  I'll help you carry it to your car = I'll do anything to get rid of
this boat anchor!

24.  This is the rig of my dreams, I really wanted one as a kid, but now (
sniff ) I've got to let it go = As I've gotten older, I've realized what a
hunk of junk it is!

25.  I'd keep this baby, but my wife is making me clean everything out = I
finally got around to giving this rig the proverbial heave-ho!

Author unknown.

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