HOW TO REPAIR AN ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENT

[James Trent]

Thanks to Marty for bringing back my memories of this packet message
from 13 years ago.

I have a very similar version that I picked off a Packet Bulletin Board
back in 13 Feburary 1986 (I still have the printout and will quote from
it)

Mine came from  WB3HSI and had a couple of additions than your copy as
follows:

After your #4,  I had a number (5) as follows:

    "Brandish a large screwdriver in a menacing manner.  This will
frighten the instrument and demonstrate the deadly 'Short Circuit'
technique.  If this fails proceed to Step 6." (Marty's step 5)

My version had this #6 for your #5 (goes with the "boat anchor's theme):

    "Add a tube ... Even if  the instrument is solid state. This will
prove to the instrument that you are familiar with the design of the
instrument.  Also, will increase your advantage and confuse the
instrument. If this step fails, proceed to the most drastic and
dangerous step of all, step #7. It is very seldom used and is the last
resort if all else fails.

Of course, my step #7 was same as Marty's #6.

The reason I kept this message - I had just finished 29 yrs as a
computer guru for the government and started back to work again with a
contractor as their computer guru.  I used this message to wave in front
of the computers (8086's, 8088's and 286's) whenever they acted up. It
worked! - and I kept my reputation up as a computer guru.

de Jim, N3EGE


Marty wrote:


>  was cleaning out my files and thought that someone might find this of
> use.  Not sure where it came from.
>
>                   ------------------//---------------------
>
> HOW TO REPAIR AN ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENT
>
> 1. Approach the ailing device in a confident manner. This will give the
> instrument the idea that you may know something.  This will also impress
> anyone who happens to be looking, and should the instrument should
> suddenly start working, you will be credited with its repair.  If this
> step fails to work, proceed to step two.
>
> 2. Wave the schematic at the instrument.  This will make the instrument
> assume that you are at least somewhat familiar with the sources of
> knowledge.  Should this step fail to work, proceed to step three.
>
> 3. In a forcible manner, recite Ohm's Law to the instrument. (Before
> taking this step, refer to some reliable handbook and be sure you know
> Ohm's Law.)  This will prove to the instrument beyond a shadow of a
> doubt that you do know something.  This is a drastic step and should be
> attempted only after the first two steps fail.
>
> 4. Jar the instrument slightly.  This may require anything from a three
> to six foot drop, preferably on a concrete floor.  However, you must be
> careful with this step because while jarring is an approved method of
> repair, we must not mar the floor. If this step fails, there is nothing
> to do but to proceed to step five.
>
> 5. Add a resistor and capacitor.  This may convince the instrument that
> you are familiar with instrument repair.  Also, it will give the
> instrument an added load to carry and will thereby increase your
> advantage.  Should these five steps fail to work, you must proceed to
> the most drastic step of all, one which is seldom used except as a final
> resort.
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
>
> 6. THINK.
>
>
>
> de Marty  K1FHR
>

Sponsored by the City of Tempe 

Listserver Submissions:  heath at listserv.tempe.gov
Listserver Subscription: listserv at listserv.tempe.gov - "subscribe heath 'name' 'call'"
Listserver Unsubscribe: listserv at listserv.tempe.gov - -"signoff heath"