Off-Topic: Limerick Time Again!

[Ron Notarius WN3VAW]

My apologies for the off-topic post...

As many of you are aware, I edit my club newsletter, and we've made a small
tradition out of the April issue.  It's an "ode" to the old "DX Hoggery &
Poetry Depreciation Society" annual piece that Rod Newkirk W9BRD ran every
May in QST, for most if not all of the years that he wrote the "How's DX?"
column.

Those of you who recall those all columns also recall that the "poetry"
being "depreciated" were limericks.  So, I am once again soliciting amateurs
for limericks to use in the April issue.

The "rules" are simple:

(1)  They have to be "clean" -- this is a G-rated family newsletter.  No
"There once was a lass from Nantucket" or similar bawdy ones, much as we may
personally enjoy them.
(2)  They have to be funny.
(3)  They have to have SOMETHING to do with Amateur Radio.  It could be
about an operator, a contest, an antenna... but it has to be radio related.
(4)  Parody is OK, but no attacks on individuals or companies or products.
Someone once sent me an assortment of an even dozen anti-Kenwood limericks,
but this is not the place or time to vent your spleen.
(5)  Originals only.  I'm not looking for any of Rod's old limericks, or
ones you read somewhere, but original pieces.  I have enough aggravation in
my life right now, copyright infringement lawsuits I don't need!
(6)  Limericks only.  In the past, I've been sent haiku, iambic pentameter,
free verse, short stories, and most anything else you can think of -- some
really great, but none I can use.

Now... if you recall the original columns, you also will recall that the
poetry reciter usually met their demise or other major calamity by some
amateur-related manner.   Since you will get credit in the article as the
originator of the appropriate limerick,  you can also suggest the
appropriate demise.  Wouff-Hongs and Rettysnitches of all shapes, sizes,
colors, materials, and sharpness are quite common, along with burial by
807's, plunked by plate transformers, and even (one time only) having a
major sports arena blown up around them.  No promises (sometimes 2 or 3 ask
for the same fate) but I'll do what I can.

And since some have asked... yes, Rod W9BRD / VA3ZBB is still with us.  He's
now retired, remarried (XYL is VE3ZBB), and living in Canada.  I've sent him
past issues.  And not only does he not appear to have e-mail, but I'd swear
he uses the same mill to reply that he used 30 years ago when he sent very
nice notes to a young wet-behind-the-ears Novice in NNJ who dreamed of DX
with an AC-1, a borrowed HRO-60, and a worthless long-wire sans tuner...

Deadline is March 25th, as I want to have the April newsletter done prior to
the CQ WPX contest.

Thanks in advance!

73, ron wn3vaw

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... won't you be my neighbor?"
Fred Rodgers, "Mister Rogers Neighborhood," SK, 27 February 2003

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