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</style></head><body style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><div>Maybe he should have just joined AA instead. Seems the problem was more the alcohol than the VOIP world. :)O</div>
<div><br>> On April 1, 2017 at 6:47 AM Anthony Orlando via VoiceOps <voiceops@voiceops.org> wrote:<br>> <br>> <br>> I think I just threw up in my mouth <br>> <br>> <br>> <br>> Sent from my iPhone<br>> <br>> > On Apr 1, 2017, at 6:26 AM, Shripal Daphtary <shripald@gmail.com> wrote:<br>> > <br>> > Nice one!! <br>> > <br>> > <br>> > Thanks, <br>> > <br>> > Shripal<br>> > <br>> >> On Apr 1, 2017, at 1:11 AM, Alex Balashov <abalashov@evaristesys.com> wrote:<br>> >> <br>> >> (Filed by UC Celeb Talk - 1 Apr 2017.)<br>> >> <br>> >> BERLIN (Tegel), GERMANY--In the now-infamous breakdown episode on the<br>> >> VIP tarmac at Berlin's Tegel Airport, Alex Balashov shocked the IP<br>> >> telecoms celebrity world last month. <br>> >> <br>> >> Shielding his eyes from the punishingly bright daylight of an overcast<br>> >> day in northern Germany, Balashov climbed out of his Gulfstream G650<br>> >> jet, clutching a half-finished bottle of Woodford Reserve, and announced<br>> >> his sudden retirement from the "fast life" of open-source SIP consulting<br>> >> to a waiting gathering of tech business reporters. <br>> >> <br>> >> "I'm not with this 'live fast, die young' VoIP s*** anymore," he<br>> >> reportedly shouted, before collapsing and vomiting profusely on the red<br>> >> carpet.<br>> >> <br>> >> UC Celeb Talk's own Benjamin Brant sat down with Balashov in an<br>> >> exclusive interview to learn more about what happened, even as the<br>> >> telecoms industry continues to digest the shock meltdown. <br>> >> <br>> >> --<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: Everyone's dying to know, what was going through your head at<br>> >> that moment?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Funny how you mention dying. I want to live to see 35, man. I<br>> >> can't handle the SIP biz anymore. <br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: What do you mean? You seemed to have all the makings of an<br>> >> open-source SIP superstar.<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: I can't keep up with the drinks anymore, the three day-long<br>> >> parties, the paparazzi, always watchin' my back at ClueCon...<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: When'd you realise it might be time to call it?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: I'll tell you when. It was Kamailio World '16. Man, those<br>> >> vodka + Club Mate drinks they pour down at Fokus are something else.<br>> >> They'll really get you thinking about things. <br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: So you had a cocktail and thought better of your entire life as a<br>> >> SIP celebrity? The fans, the adulation, the glory? <br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: When you wake up at 3 PM at the Park Inn on Alexanderplatz<br>> >> with a $31,000 room service bill on your AMEX, a goat wandering around,<br>> >> and reporters in your face, you tell me with a straight face you're not<br>> >> gonna take stock of your life and make some changes.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: That really happened?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: That's what I'm trying to tell you! That's Kamailio World,<br>> >> dude. That's the SIP software engineering culture. You wanna ITSP and<br>> >> WebRTC? You're gonna have to bro down!<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: Surely not everywhere. What about the IETF?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Those guys drink more than ANYONE. Have you seen the SIP<br>> >> Outbound RFC?<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: That's the work-product of an alcohol-fuelled creative orgy?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: It's the work product of something-something. I don't know if<br>> >> I'm allowed to identify the uh, substance in question.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: How are you going to live without the private jet? If I had a G6,<br>> >> I wouldn't just turn over the keys.<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Yeah, I mean, open-source VoIP consulting has its upsides.<br>> >> It's a fine way to make a living. But it's just not worth it. Besides,<br>> >> hourly operating costs are through the roof. <br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: But you were an icon, and quite a ladies' man too! How do you<br>> >> walk away from that?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Look man, of course women are gonna mob you when you're a SIP<br>> >> consulting star. That's just part of the open-source tech life in<br>> >> general.<br>> >> <br>> >> But it's fake, man. They don't love you. They don't want to know who you<br>> >> are inside. They just want you 'cause you know all about the SIP<br>> >> transaction state machine, loose vs. strict routing, cross-compiling<br>> >> Kamailio. They just got a crush on you 'cause you know presence and<br>> >> parallel forking race conditions. I want something real.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: But that's part of the social bargain of being an open-source SIP<br>> >> celebrity. Didn't you once boast of having uh, lady friends, "in<br>> >> different geographic and non-geographic operator codes"?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Yeah, and that's cool, but I want to come home to a woman who<br>> >> loves me for me, not Mr. 3...<br>> >> <br>> >> ... 02, Moved Temporarily, but not happy necessarily. Feel me?<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: What happened at ClueCon?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: You talking about the bullets Acme Packet ventilated me with?<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: Five of them, as I heard.<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Well I'm still standin'. Took those shots and smiled.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: I know you guys have a kind of omertà about this stuff, but I've<br>> >> got to ask: why?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: I ain't worried, kids growing up in today's world need to<br>> >> learn the truth. <br>> >> <br>> >> They act like I was dealing transcoding licences on their block. O.G. 729.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: But that wasn't what gave you a wake-up call that the SIP game is<br>> >> sharper than a razor blade?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Hell no, it wasn't their block. That fake-ass east coast<br>> >> channel partner crew can cash me outside howboudah?<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: How exclusive is Kamailio World?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: It's one of the most exclusive clubs I've ever hit up. Lines<br>> >> wrapping around blocks. And the bouncers. Damn.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: The bouncers?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Those dudes are harsh.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: On a scale of 1 to Berghain, how bad is it?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: All I know is, one time some squirrely guy in the audience<br>> >> asked a moderately new-blood question like, "If a Record-Route header<br>> >> has been added by an intermediate proxy, is it proper of a SIP User<br>> >> Agent to populate the Request URI of subsequent in-dialog requests with<br>> >> the Record-Route URI, or should it be the remote Contact?" <br>> >> <br>> >> Half the room got up like it was ready to curb-stomp that little face.<br>> >> Guy didn't know what he got himself into--a room full of elites.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: So what happened?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Someone was like, "Bounce this fool! He don't know how to<br>> >> act." <br>> >> <br>> >> So these three muscular Kaiser Wilhelm-looking dudes--moustaches and<br>> >> all--in sunglasses roll up and drag this guy through the Atrium, out the<br>> >> doors and dump him straight out onto Anna-Louisa-Karsch-Straße. <br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: Damn. Ejected out of the saloon.<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Yo, that dude was dismissed from the premises.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: So what do you see in your future post-SIP life?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: I'm thinking about starting a bakery. A friend threw it out<br>> >> there as a way to kind of atone for all this and get straight with<br>> >> Jesus. Gonna bake really big cookies. You know, huge ones, like small<br>> >> pizzas? But recognise--they're actually cookies.<br>> >> <br>> >> BRANT: Got any advice for those who bright young upstarts who haven't<br>> >> turned over a new leaf and thrown in the towel yet?<br>> >> <br>> >> BALASHOV: Come on down to Kamailio World #5, May 8-10 2017 in Berlin.<br>> >> You'll see your life in a new way.<br>> >> <br>> >> Registration and more information online at<br>> >> https://www.kamailioworld.com/k05/<br>> >> _______________________________________________<br>> >> VoiceOps mailing list<br>> >> VoiceOps@voiceops.org<br>> >> https://puck.nether.net/mailman/listinfo/voiceops<br>> > _______________________________________________<br>> > VoiceOps mailing list<br>> > VoiceOps@voiceops.org<br>> > https://puck.nether.net/mailman/listinfo/voiceops<br>> <br>> _______________________________________________<br>> VoiceOps mailing list<br>> VoiceOps@voiceops.org<br>> https://puck.nether.net/mailman/listinfo/voiceops</div>
Mary Lou Carey<br>BackUP Telecom Consulting<br>Marylou@backuptelecom.com<br>Office: 615-791-9969<br>Cell: 615-796-1111</body></html>