[VoiceOps] Make Kamailio Great Again!

Alexander Lopez alex.lopez at opsys.com
Fri Apr 1 11:19:31 EDT 2016

For immediate release:

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL (1 April 2016)--#SipPacketsMatter

"Evariste Systems is huge. My name is on the building," said Balashov of his iconic VoIP consulting brand.

"Yes!! We know we see that damm building every day," laments Alexander Lopez, curator of SIP Packets Matter, "it is an eyesore and the wall does not hide it from view."

While Mr. Balashov, boasts of his accomplishments and rallies others to join him, our group forms the foundation of what he credits for his success.

When queried by the internationally renowned and respected investigative reporter, known as Ethereal, most packets queried were not aware of any such accomplishments by the so called 'iconic VoIP consultant. 

Regarding Mr. Balashov's comments that GitHub does not send their best, "We counterclaim that no one that is not on drugs or other stimulants can commit to GitHub, we simply cannot expect 'non-enhanced' individuals to perform the insane tasks required to commit", says lead commit spokesperson, Mohamed Perez, also known by his handle of "#CommentsWeDontNeedNoStinkingComments", speaking  while he feasted on his breakfast of Mountain Dew and Slim Jims.

While Mr. Balashov continues to use the Microsoft method of marketing, whereby substance is 'Trumped' by pretty binky lights. His pipe dream of a large wall will simply not work.  

In response to this we feel that a redistribution of commits, is in order, We have started a project called 'Feel the B.E.R.N' (Begin the Equal Redistributed to NOOBS). Under this program, those that represent the top 1% of commits will have their commits taken away and given to those that have none. While many fell that it is not fair, what isn't fair is that a few hardworking individuals get all the credit for their work. At the end we should all share.


"You can either follow your fears or be led by your passions, its up to you........"

Alexander Lopez
OpSys Consulting Group
PO Box 49-1333
Key Biscayne, FL 33149
Tel: 305 503 3000 x 122

Help-desk: (305)503-3000 Option 0 or 
Email: HelpDesk at OpSys.com

-----Original Message-----
From: VoiceOps [mailto:voiceops-bounces at voiceops.org] On Behalf Of Alex Balashov
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2016 7:30 AM
To: voiceops at voiceops.org
Subject: [VoiceOps] Make Kamailio Great Again!

For immediate release:

ATLANTA, GA (1 April 2016)--Alex J. Balashov, a self-styled businessman based in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, has a plan to "Make Kamailio Great Again".

"Evariste Systems is huge. My name is on the building," said Balashov of his iconic VoIP consulting brand.

"And you know what, I have been very successful. Everybody loves me."

Balashov has capitalised on a contentious election cycle marked by deep political polarisation, growing income inequality and geopolitical challenges such as global terrorism. And his sharp message of alarm about the declining influence of the Kamailio SIP server project has resonated with increasing numbers in the CxO suite, vaulting him to the lead in the race for the IETF SIP Working Group nomination, according to recent polls of primary voters.

He has been quick to tout his competitive credentials in a tough global open-source ecosystem. At a recent colloqium on unified communications, he asked:

"When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, OpenSIPS in Git commits? They kill us. I beat OpenSIPS all the time. All the time."

As Balashov sees it, a major cause of the beleaguered Kamailio project's woes lies in its liberal patch acceptance policy and lax scrutiny of third-party contributions:

"When GitHub sends its people, they're not sending their best.
They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people."

He has proposed a controversial solution that has drawn ire from liberal ranks in the open-source community, but has also attracted applause and standing ovations at his speaking engagements:

"We have to have a firewall around the Kamailio source code. We have to have an access control list. And in that firewall, we're going to have a big fat door where commits and pull requests can come into the master branch, but they have to come in legally.
The firewall will go up, and GitHub will start behaving."

Balashov's firewall proposal has been met with scorn from critics who deride it as impractical and quixotic. In particular, commentators have raised questions about funding and resources as well as GitHub's willingness to entertain a boundary around a project in its vicinity.
Balashov isn't concerned, however:

"I will build a great firewall--and nobody builds firewalls better than me, believe me--and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great stateful packet inspection wall on our border with GitHub, and I will make GitHub pay for that wall. Mark my words."

He has also been rebuked by rival IETF leadership candidates for his often acerbic Twitter remarks directed at Lennart Poettering and the developers of "firewalld". As he sees it, however, the network effects of social media are a strength:  "My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth." He scoffed at the suggestion that his characterisations of industry actors behind the RedHat-led "systemd" movement are misleading:

"RedHat was the worst Steward of Linux in the history of the kernel.
There has never been a Steward so bad as RedHat. The source code blew up around us. We lost everything, including all synergies.
There wasn't one good thing that came out of that administration or them being Stewards of Linux."

Balashov's idiosyncratic campaign is not standing still. He has proven to be a capable populist, adapting rapidly to an evolving sense of the kinds of pronouncements that activate his swelling crowds of devotees.
Along the way, he has deftly deflected calls to subject his policy proposals to expert review.

"I know what I'm doing, and I listen to a lot of people, I talk to a lot of people, and at the appropriate time I'll tell you who the people are. But I speak to a lot of people, but my primary consultant is myself, and I have a good instinct for this stuff."

At a recent gathering of SIP stack interoperability specialists, Balashov the latest pillar of his platform to "Make Kamailio Great Again", in view of growing security vulnerabilities in the latest Kamailio modules:

"Alex J. Balashov is calling for a total and complete shutdown of commits entering the master branch from the territory of the European Union until our project's representatives can figure out what's going on. According to Netcraft, among others, there are a lot of buffer overflows in Kamailio by large segments of the EU population."
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