[VoiceOps] Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ

[Brandon Svec]

GPT-3? Happy April Fools Day. 

Brandon

> On Mar 31, 2021, at 9:47 PM, Alex Balashov <abalashov at evaristesys.com> wrote:
> 
> For immediate release:
> 
> GAINESVILLE, Florida (1 April 2021)--Evariste Systems, in partnership with
> Posner | Palner Pharmaceuticals, are pleased to announce the eagerly
> anticipated start of Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ module
> replication.
> 
> In this stage of the investigation of the promising replication scheme, which
> was developed in record time, DMQ will be tested in a rigourous, double-blind,
> controlled CI/CD process for large-scale efficacy and continually monitored for
> safety in shorter and longer terms.
> 
> The now-concluded second phase established basic safety and Phase 2b entailed a
> dose-finding study for the optimal number of batched `dmq_usrloc` contacts per
> kilogram of cloud computing resource.
> 
> The main cohort of the main sequence of the Phase III trial will enroll 380
> randomly selected, statistically representative Floridian SIP registrars and
> 5700 SIP dialogs, also in the state of Florida. When asked about the disparity
> in the number of registrars versus dialogs, Alex Balashov of Evariste said, "It
> is reflective of the small number of SIP registrars in Florida; not to be
> indelicate, but consider the median age of the population."
> 
> As previously remarked upon in proceedings of the World SIP Organisation (WSO),
> the choice of Florida as a venue attracted some questions. We asked Fred Posner
> of Posner | Palner about the clinical background informing this choice of
> replication study cohort:
> 
> "Florida is a good place to find eventual consistency failures; the open
> climate and reluctance to accept traditional data integrity science would have
> sealed the deal, but when people started to drink bleach here, I saw an
> opportunity."
> 
> Evariste and Posner | Palner are aiming for a US Food & Drug Administration EUA
> (Emergency Use Authorisation) for DMQ replication as a prophylactic data
> redundancy and failover measure to ward off the development of moderate to
> severe viral Sonus Haemorrhagic Fever symptoms.
> 
> Phase II studies have painted a promising a picture of the DMQ architecture's
> ability to reduce moderate to severe symptoms and associated 28-day mortality
> by more than 90%, albeit over a small sample size and in enterprise patients
> with known pre-existing comorbidities such as Session Border Controller and
> BroadSoft Multi-System Inflammatory Syndrome.  Phase III trials seek to bolster
> quantums of broader efficacy, including efficacy for localised outbreaks of
> small to medium business softswitch.
> 
> Of the control group, Balashov said, "They will receive a standard
> pipe-to-/dev/null placebo protocol, but with identical '200 OK' confirmation
> messages. We proudly developed this approach in early 2020 in consultation with
> the highest levels of the Trump presidential administration; it is called
> TENP, or 'The Emperor's New Potion.' It is a successor to that administration's
> previous approved placebo protocol, SHTI - Small Hands, Tremendous Initiatives."
> 
> Despite speculative autism and packet fragmentation claims by Florida Governor
> Ron DeSantis, Balashov was quick to provide reassurance about side effects from
> DMQ in the Phase III trial.
> 
> "The incidence of severe allergies to plain-text UDP was within standard
> deviation over the mean for all insecure replication, and there's support for
> other transports on the way. Anyway, we have a robust adverse effects reporting
> system in our issue tracker and solid surveillance. Don't let partisan politics
> dissuade you from allowing request lines with the KDMQ method."
> 
> Other industry sources have reported that DMQ is not the only replication
> investigation undertaken by Evariste and Posner | Palner, although it is the only
> prophylactic suitable for the early infection development and inflammatory
> phases of a broad class of SBC-complex syndromes typically afflicting service
> providers. A recent IETF preprint by the same authors has shown high-quality
> preliminary data suggesting statistically significant improvement in morbidity
> outcomes from Perimeta and Nokia via a later-stage therapeutic intervention
> with a monoclonal, monorepo Github cocktail administered intravenously.
> 
> 
> -- 
> Alex Balashov | Principal | Evariste Systems LLC
> 
> Tel: +1-706-510-6800 / +1-800-250-5920 (toll-free)
> Web: http://www.evaristesys.com/, http://www.csrpswitch.com/
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