[VoiceOps] Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ

[Brandon Svec]

It must be that I have been reading about such things a lot recently.  If it is hand crafted than it shows humans are still edging out the robots for now..



> On Apr 1, 2021, at 12:18 PM, Alex Balashov <abalashov at evaristesys.com> wrote:
> 
> Let me make sure I understand your question correctly: it is your belief or conjecture that this press release was automatically generated by a machine learning system?
> 
> —
> Sent from mobile, with due apologies for brevity and errors.
> 
>> On Apr 1, 2021, at 3:10 PM, Brandon Svec <bsvec at teamonesolutions.com> wrote:
>> 
>> GPT-3? Happy April Fools Day. 
>> 
>> Brandon
>> 
>>> On Mar 31, 2021, at 9:47 PM, Alex Balashov <abalashov at evaristesys.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> For immediate release:
>>> 
>>> GAINESVILLE, Florida (1 April 2021)--Evariste Systems, in partnership with
>>> Posner | Palner Pharmaceuticals, are pleased to announce the eagerly
>>> anticipated start of Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ module
>>> replication.
>>> 
>>> In this stage of the investigation of the promising replication scheme, which
>>> was developed in record time, DMQ will be tested in a rigourous, double-blind,
>>> controlled CI/CD process for large-scale efficacy and continually monitored for
>>> safety in shorter and longer terms.
>>> 
>>> The now-concluded second phase established basic safety and Phase 2b entailed a
>>> dose-finding study for the optimal number of batched `dmq_usrloc` contacts per
>>> kilogram of cloud computing resource.
>>> 
>>> The main cohort of the main sequence of the Phase III trial will enroll 380
>>> randomly selected, statistically representative Floridian SIP registrars and
>>> 5700 SIP dialogs, also in the state of Florida. When asked about the disparity
>>> in the number of registrars versus dialogs, Alex Balashov of Evariste said, "It
>>> is reflective of the small number of SIP registrars in Florida; not to be
>>> indelicate, but consider the median age of the population."
>>> 
>>> As previously remarked upon in proceedings of the World SIP Organisation (WSO),
>>> the choice of Florida as a venue attracted some questions. We asked Fred Posner
>>> of Posner | Palner about the clinical background informing this choice of
>>> replication study cohort:
>>> 
>>> "Florida is a good place to find eventual consistency failures; the open
>>> climate and reluctance to accept traditional data integrity science would have
>>> sealed the deal, but when people started to drink bleach here, I saw an
>>> opportunity."
>>> 
>>> Evariste and Posner | Palner are aiming for a US Food & Drug Administration EUA
>>> (Emergency Use Authorisation) for DMQ replication as a prophylactic data
>>> redundancy and failover measure to ward off the development of moderate to
>>> severe viral Sonus Haemorrhagic Fever symptoms.
>>> 
>>> Phase II studies have painted a promising a picture of the DMQ architecture's
>>> ability to reduce moderate to severe symptoms and associated 28-day mortality
>>> by more than 90%, albeit over a small sample size and in enterprise patients
>>> with known pre-existing comorbidities such as Session Border Controller and
>>> BroadSoft Multi-System Inflammatory Syndrome.  Phase III trials seek to bolster
>>> quantums of broader efficacy, including efficacy for localised outbreaks of
>>> small to medium business softswitch.
>>> 
>>> Of the control group, Balashov said, "They will receive a standard
>>> pipe-to-/dev/null placebo protocol, but with identical '200 OK' confirmation
>>> messages. We proudly developed this approach in early 2020 in consultation with
>>> the highest levels of the Trump presidential administration; it is called
>>> TENP, or 'The Emperor's New Potion.' It is a successor to that administration's
>>> previous approved placebo protocol, SHTI - Small Hands, Tremendous Initiatives."
>>> 
>>> Despite speculative autism and packet fragmentation claims by Florida Governor
>>> Ron DeSantis, Balashov was quick to provide reassurance about side effects from
>>> DMQ in the Phase III trial.
>>> 
>>> "The incidence of severe allergies to plain-text UDP was within standard
>>> deviation over the mean for all insecure replication, and there's support for
>>> other transports on the way. Anyway, we have a robust adverse effects reporting
>>> system in our issue tracker and solid surveillance. Don't let partisan politics
>>> dissuade you from allowing request lines with the KDMQ method."
>>> 
>>> Other industry sources have reported that DMQ is not the only replication
>>> investigation undertaken by Evariste and Posner | Palner, although it is the only
>>> prophylactic suitable for the early infection development and inflammatory
>>> phases of a broad class of SBC-complex syndromes typically afflicting service
>>> providers. A recent IETF preprint by the same authors has shown high-quality
>>> preliminary data suggesting statistically significant improvement in morbidity
>>> outcomes from Perimeta and Nokia via a later-stage therapeutic intervention
>>> with a monoclonal, monorepo Github cocktail administered intravenously.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -- 
>>> Alex Balashov | Principal | Evariste Systems LLC
>>> 
>>> Tel: +1-706-510-6800 / +1-800-250-5920 (toll-free)
>>> Web: http://www.evaristesys.com/, http://www.csrpswitch.com/
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