[VoiceOps] Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ

Hiers, David David.Hiers at cdk.com
Thu Apr 1 15:46:34 EDT 2021


Not GMO, but probably alcohol-infused.

From: Carlos Alvarez <caalvarez at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 1, 2021 12:36 PM
To: Hiers, David <David.Hiers at cdk.com>
Cc: Alex Balashov <abalashov at evaristesys.com>; Brandon Svec <bsvec at teamonesolutions.com>; voiceops at voiceops.org
Subject: Re: [VoiceOps] Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ

GMO?

On Thu, Apr 1, 2021 at 12:27 PM Hiers, David <David.Hiers at cdk.com<mailto:David.Hiers at cdk.com>> wrote:
No AI here...  This is classic, small-batch, hand-crafted, free-range, organic, gluten-free content.


David


-----Original Message-----
From: VoiceOps <voiceops-bounces at voiceops.org<mailto:voiceops-bounces at voiceops.org>> On Behalf Of Alex Balashov
Sent: Thursday, April 1, 2021 12:18 PM
To: Brandon Svec <bsvec at teamonesolutions.com<mailto:bsvec at teamonesolutions.com>>
Cc: voiceops at voiceops.org<mailto:voiceops at voiceops.org>
Subject: Re: [VoiceOps] Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio DMQ

Let me make sure I understand your question correctly: it is your belief or conjecture that this press release was automatically generated by a machine learning system?

—
Sent from mobile, with due apologies for brevity and errors.

> On Apr 1, 2021, at 3:10 PM, Brandon Svec <bsvec at teamonesolutions.com<mailto:bsvec at teamonesolutions.com>> wrote:
>
> GPT-3? Happy April Fools Day.
>
> Brandon
>
>> On Mar 31, 2021, at 9:47 PM, Alex Balashov <abalashov at evaristesys.com<mailto:abalashov at evaristesys.com>> wrote:
>>
>> For immediate release:
>>
>> GAINESVILLE, Florida (1 April 2021)--Evariste Systems, in partnership
>> with Posner | Palner Pharmaceuticals, are pleased to announce the
>> eagerly anticipated start of Phase III clinical trials of Kamailio
>> DMQ module replication.
>>
>> In this stage of the investigation of the promising replication
>> scheme, which was developed in record time, DMQ will be tested in a
>> rigourous, double-blind, controlled CI/CD process for large-scale
>> efficacy and continually monitored for safety in shorter and longer terms.
>>
>> The now-concluded second phase established basic safety and Phase 2b
>> entailed a dose-finding study for the optimal number of batched
>> `dmq_usrloc` contacts per kilogram of cloud computing resource.
>>
>> The main cohort of the main sequence of the Phase III trial will
>> enroll 380 randomly selected, statistically representative Floridian
>> SIP registrars and
>> 5700 SIP dialogs, also in the state of Florida. When asked about the
>> disparity in the number of registrars versus dialogs, Alex Balashov
>> of Evariste said, "It is reflective of the small number of SIP
>> registrars in Florida; not to be indelicate, but consider the median age of the population."
>>
>> As previously remarked upon in proceedings of the World SIP
>> Organisation (WSO), the choice of Florida as a venue attracted some
>> questions. We asked Fred Posner of Posner | Palner about the clinical
>> background informing this choice of replication study cohort:
>>
>> "Florida is a good place to find eventual consistency failures; the
>> open climate and reluctance to accept traditional data integrity
>> science would have sealed the deal, but when people started to drink
>> bleach here, I saw an opportunity."
>>
>> Evariste and Posner | Palner are aiming for a US Food & Drug
>> Administration EUA (Emergency Use Authorisation) for DMQ replication
>> as a prophylactic data redundancy and failover measure to ward off
>> the development of moderate to severe viral Sonus Haemorrhagic Fever symptoms.
>>
>> Phase II studies have painted a promising a picture of the DMQ
>> architecture's ability to reduce moderate to severe symptoms and
>> associated 28-day mortality by more than 90%, albeit over a small
>> sample size and in enterprise patients with known pre-existing
>> comorbidities such as Session Border Controller and BroadSoft
>> Multi-System Inflammatory Syndrome.  Phase III trials seek to bolster
>> quantums of broader efficacy, including efficacy for localised outbreaks of small to medium business softswitch.
>>
>> Of the control group, Balashov said, "They will receive a standard
>> pipe-to-/dev/null placebo protocol, but with identical '200 OK'
>> confirmation messages. We proudly developed this approach in early
>> 2020 in consultation with the highest levels of the Trump
>> presidential administration; it is called TENP, or 'The Emperor's New
>> Potion.' It is a successor to that administration's previous approved placebo protocol, SHTI - Small Hands, Tremendous Initiatives."
>>
>> Despite speculative autism and packet fragmentation claims by Florida
>> Governor Ron DeSantis, Balashov was quick to provide reassurance
>> about side effects from DMQ in the Phase III trial.
>>
>> "The incidence of severe allergies to plain-text UDP was within
>> standard deviation over the mean for all insecure replication, and
>> there's support for other transports on the way. Anyway, we have a
>> robust adverse effects reporting system in our issue tracker and
>> solid surveillance. Don't let partisan politics dissuade you from allowing request lines with the KDMQ method."
>>
>> Other industry sources have reported that DMQ is not the only
>> replication investigation undertaken by Evariste and Posner | Palner,
>> although it is the only prophylactic suitable for the early infection
>> development and inflammatory phases of a broad class of SBC-complex
>> syndromes typically afflicting service providers. A recent IETF
>> preprint by the same authors has shown high-quality preliminary data
>> suggesting statistically significant improvement in morbidity
>> outcomes from Perimeta and Nokia via a later-stage therapeutic intervention with a monoclonal, monorepo Github cocktail administered intravenously.
>>
>>
>> --
>> Alex Balashov | Principal | Evariste Systems LLC
>>
>> Tel: +1-706-510-6800 / +1-800-250-5920 (toll-free)
>> Web: http://www.evaristesys.com/<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.evaristesys.com_&d=DwMFaQ&c=N13-TaG7c-EYAiUNohBk74oLRjUiBTwVm-KSnr4bPSc&r=-GzOCp0ppLaBQPFaZ7lZ4bUUBQxpFBukitRP75oaRdQ&m=gnO2gWBU4p_DvqfSa2L3MHseBkydYAdKzY0qew1X6MQ&s=xzBexeqAoA52jVqCDX-rXmHrKGu7bR14O76kxMpGj7I&e=>, http://www.csrpswitch.com/<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.csrpswitch.com_&d=DwMFaQ&c=N13-TaG7c-EYAiUNohBk74oLRjUiBTwVm-KSnr4bPSc&r=-GzOCp0ppLaBQPFaZ7lZ4bUUBQxpFBukitRP75oaRdQ&m=gnO2gWBU4p_DvqfSa2L3MHseBkydYAdKzY0qew1X6MQ&s=kHNFf5RrmT_Xo3TImrjO6ccBrRRJFN_B761MVAH0HeM&e=>
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